Can Confidence Be Faked?

 

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During a recent conversation with a one of my clients I provide business career coaching, she asked an interesting question. She asked "can confidence be faked"? Many people make futile attempts to fake confidence. It takes an inordinate amount of energy to present a confident facade, rather than displaying true confidence.

In the movie "The Usual Suspects"a famous line provided a Wow moment; "the best trick the devil ever played on people, is that he didn't exist". People who lack confidence employ a similar tactic in making people believe they have confidence. The facades for faking confidence come in various flavors to trick people into believing "whoa, this person is confident";
  • Intimidating people
  • Being loud or boisterous
  • Manipulating people or situations
  • Bullying people
  • Flattering people, then dropping them down 15 flights of stairs
  • Doing one upmanship - whatever you have done or experienced, they tell you a story which dwarfs your "true story"
  • Always talking about past accomplishments, but have no recent home runs
  • Consistently being self aggrandizing
  • Perform "grand standing" actions which make them the center of attraction
  • Taking credit for "a job well done" which is accomplished by others on the team
  • Belittling or heckling others
  • Dominating conversations
  • Deflect responsibility for not accomplishing goals by putting the spotlight on others
  • Spread untruths about people by whispering in the ear of whoever will listen
  • Appear confident at meetings, but their eyes and body language display lack of confidence
  • Body language posture holds head down and looks down when walking
  • Get other people to do their work or down play the work of others

People who have confidence can immediately identify people who lack confidence. Confident people display very genuine qualities;
  • Possess belief they can and will succeed, despite what others may say
  • Use small wins to develop more confidence
  • Project confidence by encouraging others to believe in themselves
  • Display genuine sincerity in congratulation other people on any small achievement or personal progress
  • Do not allow other people to yell or bully them
  • Communicate effectively with people to establish goals, team work and espirit de corps to achieve a common objective
  • Being assertive with people, when something makes them uncomfortable
  • Encourage and support people
  • Engage people in conversation with a true interest in what they have to say - ask questions and let them talk
  • Give credit to people on the team
  • Always place the spotlight on others
  • Take a little credit for projects, but give other team members much more credit
  • Take full responsibility for actions
  • Don't blame others for your shortcomings
  • Look people straight in the eye
  • Say what you mean and mean what you say - then deliver it
  • Always walk with head high, looking straight ahead in walking anywhere
  • Understand that charisma comes from confidence and body language upon first entering a room, not anything that is said
  • Always work on the next home run and down play previous wins
  • Love and encourage the confidence fakers

Copyright (c) 2006 Savvy Intrapreneur & C. E. Reid