How to Win a Argument

 

From Dale Carnegie's book How Win Friends & Influence People "Nine times of out of ten, an argument ends with each of the contestants more firmly convinced than ever that s/he is absolutely right. You can't win an argument.  You can't because if you lose it, you lose it; and if you win it, you lose it. Why? Well, suppose you triumph over the other person and shoot their argument full of holes and prove that s/he is non compos mentis.  Then what? You will feel fine. But what about the other person? You have made that person feel inferior. You have hurt their pride. S/he will resent your triumph. And--

A person convinced against their will
Is of the same opinion still"
From
How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

I have learned that any person who is perceived as the best in their field, deftly combines core skills with well honed interpersonal skills. It takes a finite amount of time to achieve an education in developing a core skill foundation in a chosen career (i.e. 2-4 years of college or a business school).  It takes a lifetime to develop good interpersonal shills. Why? Each interaction with a person is unique and different.  I have recently been rereading How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. I often refer to this book as my human relations reference bible. Below is an excerpt from one of my favorite chapters; You Can't Win an Argument.

  • Welcome disagreement
  • Disregard your first instinctive impression
  • Control your temper
  • Listen first
  • Look for areas of agreement
  • Be honest
  • Promise to think over your opponent's ideas and study them
  • Thank your opponents sincerely for their interest
  • Postpone action to give both sides time to think through the problem
The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.

About the Author
With corporate travels from the mail room to the board room, Carl E. Reid knows what it takes to be successful. He has over 40 years of business experience, including 27 years as a technology expert, 16 years as a business career coach and 18 years as a successful entrepreneur. Carl has been a professional blogger and social media strategist since 2004. In addition to being a sought after speaker, he has coached and inspired hundreds of people to land jobs and start successful businesses. 

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