Social Networking does not work for people who possess a loud Selfish attitude. Networking does work for people who possess a low key Selfless attitude.
Selfish networkers will easily say networking does not work, because they are not interested in what other people want. Building relationships is not their focus. They attend networking events and are disappointed with achieving a "rocking chair" result. A rocking chair gives a person something nice to do, but it doesn't take you anywhere. Have you ever heard one of those cars pass by making a lot of noise through their muffler, like a souped up race car, but go no where fast? A selfish networking attitude presents low impact shouts with words that resemble a focus of "what I need", "what I want", or "I have to get paid". In his book "Networking Magic" Rick Frishman calls these types of people "drive by networkers" Matthew Homann provides an excellent illustration on his "real BIG thinking" blog.
Selfless networkers are winners, because they understand the concept of developing relationships for life. A selfless networking attitude presents concerned, high impact, whispers of "How can I help?", "I am at your service" or "what can I contribute to your success?". Zig Ziglar says it best; "If you help enough people get what they want in life, eventually you'll get what you want". Relationship building pays big dividends in social relationships whether at an event or through Internet interactions. The positive and profitable results of social networking is well documented in "The Virtual Handshake" by David Teten and Scott Allen. People can go from 0 to 60 miles an hour in the first few minutes of a conversation by focusing on what the other person is interested in. No one explains this better than Keith Ferrazzi in his phenominal book "Never Eat Alone". This is highlighted with another statement borrowed from Zig Ziglar; "No one cares how much you know, until they know how much you care".
The main cause of networking not working is networking itself. We spend entirely too much time dwelling on the action of networking. It makes us tense. We get stressed by thinking we absolutely, positively have to make a connection at this predetermined event. In a previous article "Stop Networking. Start Living."I elaborate on embracing everyday life as one big social event. Just enjoy the day and let it flow. Meeting people gets easier, because it becomes a secondary "no pressure" task. Live in the here and now. People are attracted to other people that just enjoy life. Enjoy the moment.
Copyright (c) 2006 Savvy Intrapreneur & C. E. Reid
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