Do Your Words Attract or Repel?

 

A few years back my long standing friend Jay really challenged me.  During a phone call, he pulled my coat about something that had been bothering him about me for a long time. The conversation went like this . . .

Jay: I think there is really something strange about you, that irks me.

Carl: What's that?

Jay:  I've known you for over 20 years. Whenever I call and ask you "how are you doing?", you always say things like "I'm fantabulous", "if life gets any better, I'll explode","I'm great", "life is grand" "business is great" and the most bothersome statement you sometimes say that really drives me crazy is "I'm fantastic, now that I'm talking to you".

Carl: So what what's the issue Jay?

Jay: You always make it seem like life is perfect. Like, you don't have challenges or problems. Nothing seems to bother you.  You're not normal. You can run that positive stuff on other people, but tell me what's really going on in your life? Give me some juicy 411 things that are really going on around you?

Carl: You're right. I have problems everyday, all day. Let me ask you a question?

Jay: OK

Carl: How do you feel after we finish a telephone conversation?

Jay: I always enjoy our conversations?  Talking with you makes me temporarily forget about the craziness in my life. I'm inspired to keep on keeping on. If I could, I would call to you once a day.

Carl: Do you look forward to our calls?  Do you call me back when you hear my voice mails? When you see my name on caller ID, do you take my calls?  

Jay: Yes, yes and yes, but that's not my point.

Carl: That's EXACTLY the point. You just answered your own question about me.  Why does Carl present an upbeat positive persona all the time?

Jay: Doesn't that create a false sense of security for you?

Carl: No. I maintain my sanity by empowering other people with words that temporarily suspend their thoughts about challenges in living life everyday.  Try this question on for size?

Jay: What?

Carl:  How often would you call me or take my calls, if I had a sob story that dragged you down or sucked every ounce of energy out of you? Would you refer clients to me? Would you put your reputation on the line to recommend me for a job?


How would you like to hear on our calls that 411 juicy stuff about my 16 year old daughter being pregnant and ran away, my son dropped out of college and joined an ashram, my wife ran off with the UPS guy, my cat was run over by a garbage truck, business is terrible due to the economy, the country is going to hell in a hand basket, my knees hurt, my siatica is acting up, I'm going blind in one eye, I'm out of work, I lost 50% of my clients, I hate my life, I'm selling my season tickets because my team loses more than it wins?

Jay: (long silence)

Carl: Are you still there Jay?

Jay: (laughing) You just made me think of 3 people that make me avoid their calls. I usually call them back weeks or months later, dreading the conversation. OK. I got it.  So, what's really happening in your neck of the woods? (laughing) . . .